The Weird Teacher's Classcast Lesson 9: The TEST and Creativity

Don't fear The TEST, and don't let it kill your classroom creativity.

Barnes and Noble Events

As you know, I've had two events recently at my local Barnes and Noble. Both went better than I expected, but that's because I'm kind of pessimistic about my ability to pull any kind of a crowd with just my name. Advertising is also scarce. I do what I can and spread the word through the venues I have, but a lot of it is hoping people who are interested happen to walk into the store at the right time.

Ok, so that's not entirely true. The first reading was during Barnes and Noble's Teacher Appreciation Week event, so my audience came to me. Like those of you who've read the book know, it's not just for teachers, but it does come off that way initially. The crowd for my Teacher Appreciation reading was mostly educators. Two or three were homeschool moms, and there was a little people teacher and an administrator from the Medford School district, which is the district right next door to mine. They weren't the only ones there, but they were the ones I talked to. Others drifted in and out as I read. Most who came late stayed, which is nice.

They were a great audience. I opened with the Peanut Butter and Jelly chapter, since that went over so well at my Bloomsbury reading. I also read the Bodily Functions chapter, which didn't go over fantastic last time but this audience had a few kids in it and they helped sell the grosser funny parts. Since I had the time and no one was asking questions, I thought the Distractions chapter who be a good one to read. That works better when the audience is teachers, since they can relate to the more classroom-centric chapters. And to close it out I read Sympathy for the Weird Kid. If there's one chapter that feels like a thesis statement for the entire book, that's it. It's about empathy and compassion and seeing everyone for who they are. It's an important one for me to read. Both readings, it's gotten a lot of quiet nods. Everyone is the weird kid to someone.

I was told that today's event was also going to be a reading. My contact lady told me I would be able to read or give a talk or whatever. When I got there Contact Lady wasn't working but Manager Lady was. Manager lady explained to me that, no, it was not a reading thing. It was a sit by the door with your books out and say Hi to customers and sign copies thing. Oh. Well, darn. That's way less fun. Oh well, I still get to have my book out in Barnes and Noble during the weekend, right by the door. I still get to sell the book I wrote and self published in a real brick and mortar book store. That's a cool thing and nothing to complain about.

I met a couple of very nice people, sold and signed four books, and had a nice hour. Sold two to one lady. She initially only wanted one, she was going to send it to someone she knows who is a teacher, but then she came back about five minutes later to get a copy for herself. She also works at the nearby Southern Oregon University, and she asked for my contact info. She wanted to share it with the dean of the education department. Said she thought I would be a great speaker for their students. I haven't mentioned it yet on the blog, but this is the third or fourth contact I've had with SOU people. Hopefully someone will come of it. I'd love to do a talk at the University. The other books were sold to a girl at the very beginning of her teacher education program and a guy who's wife is a kindergarten teacher.

I LOVE being able to sell the book. It is still pretty incredible that someone would buy something I wrote. Like, in a book store. Just walking through. Pick it up, read the back, and spend real American dollars on it. I give a ton of credit to Dorothy Dean's wonderful cover.

Next planned reading is at my alma mater, the University of the Pacific. I'll be speaking to a group of student teachers. Really excited about that.

Like always, thank you for reading. And if you've read the book but haven't written a review yet please head over to amazon, Barnes and Noble, Good Reads and/or iTunes and let everyone know what you thought.

Toof

I wrote about Toof in the book, but we're a few weeks into doing Toof Telling in class now so I thought I'd share a video or two my kids have done.
Yes, I've got permission from every parent to post these online. Really, they are impossible to find because they are Public But Unlisted, so the videos will only be linked to the class blog I keep.
First, an overview from the homework blog about Toof:
***

We have a new student in our class. Its name is Toof and it’s a monster (puppet). Toof lives in the classroom, but wants a change of scenery. Toof asked to go out and I’ve agreed. So it will be heading to the homes of the students of P5 for sleepovers for the rest of the year.

When Toof visits your home your student will need to write at least one page describing what they did together in Toof’s voice. This will help them write in first person, which is a challenge. (i.e. First person Toof-“ I got to go to Stu’s house this weekend. It was fun. We…”) They will then present this information to the class during Toof Telling Time, presenting using the puppet and whatever voice they feel Toof has.

Students will need to either bring in a photograph or a drawing of themselves with Toof doing something they talk about. With these plus the write-ups we will be able to make a Toof Telling memory book.

I think that this will be a fun way to get the students to write in the first person and to work on presentation and oral communication skills. By taking Toof home and having to remember to bring it back our students will also practice responsibility.

I will be choosing which student Toof goes home with and when. My choice will be based on responsibility displayed in class, completed homework, and behavior. Toof will travel with every student once. Trips will normally happen Friday to Monday and Monday to Weds. Please help your student remember to return Toof on the correct day so that it can go home with another student. Please, when Toof comes to your home, protect our small monster friend from curious pets and baby brothers and sisters. It would be a shame if Toof gets lost or damaged before all of our students are able to hang out with it.

Thank you for your help and for welcoming Toof into your home. If for some reason you would not like Toof to visit please let me know.

 Below is an example of a picture/caption-

Toof loves cake, because monsters love cake. Mmmm, cake cake cake
***

So that's what the deal with Toof Telling is. Now here's a few of the videos my kids are making. Note- they are simple sit and talk videos. No fancy editing. The purpose right now is just to get used to talking. Maybe when I get more time I'll teach them to use some of YouTube's tools. Again, yes I have permission to post these. Please be cool and don't spread the links around.



If you haven't left a review on amazon, Barnes and Noble, or iTunes please do that. It helps. 

Barnes and Noble Readings (Yes! Plural!)

Backstory: A few weeks ago I swung by the local Barnes and Noble to see if they did local author readings. They technically stock my book, though just on Nook. If you ask for it in paperback in store (no I didn't...Angela did) they tell you it's order only and they'll send it to you. Makes sense, I can't imagine a giant chain trying to keep a bunch of self-published books in stock. Still, I'm doing everything I can to promote the book and I live by, "It never hurts to ask."* The dude I talked to said they do author nights sometimes and he took my contact info and promised to give it to the proper person. I never heard from that person and figured I got lost in the big business shuffle or they weren't interested and didn't sweat it.

Today, while I was teaching a very nice lady from Barnes and Noble left me a voice mail. She did have my contact information and was I willing to do some readings at the store. Not one reading, but TWO! Checking that voicemail made the end of the day go by quick and happy and I called her back as soon as I could.

Next week is Educator Appreciate Week and B&N is always good about teacher discounts and stuff that week. The Medford B&N hosts a Teacher Appreciation Event and she wanted to know if I'd be interested in basically being the entertainment. Come, read, do a Q&A, talk to teachers, try to sell the book. WHAT!? YES! Yes, I very much would! I'm in from 4:30 until I'm done. Event ends at 6:00.

And- AND- they are doing their Local Author Winter Readings Feb. 1st and would I be interested in participating in that? They give me an hour block and I do with it what I want. Of course I'm in. Noon to one.

Not only are these awesome chances to spread the Weird Teacher name and sell some books, they are also great chances to wake the B&N computers up to the book. Here's how sales for these events works- I bring in my own stock. Since the books are printed through createspace.com they are print on demand for B&N. That means non-refundable, which means if they order a bunch of books and don't sell them they are stuck with them. I understand. But when I sell a book at the reading it is sold through the B&N register. That means the computers see He's the Weird Teacher moving through their system, which means it lights up things which could eventually lead to carrying books in-store if it looks like the demand is there. And when I sell a book through B&N, createspace pays me for the sale and sends me a hard copy to replace the one I sold. So if I sell five book Tuesday, I get paid for five books, B&N sees that He's the Weird Teacher spike in sales, and I get five free books in the mail. Short version- That doesn't suck.

I'm crazy excited to be able to do this. I've got three readings booked now, these two and one at my alma mater, University of the Pacific, which I haven't written about yet but need to. I'm also working on getting another lined up at Bloomsbury in May.

Thank you for reading the blog and the book and telling your friends. It's been an unreal experience hearing from random corners of the internet and seeing messages and pictures pop up on the He's the Weird Teacher facebook page.

*Bonus example- I just sent the necessary paperwork to Heaven (aka Powell's Books in Portland) so that they'll consider stocking He's the Weird Teacher. They are an independent bookstore and do stuff like that. It might work. Couldn't hurt.

The Weird Teacher's Classcast Lesson 2: Motivating Students

Lesson 2 is now posted. Check it out.

Teacher is Proud to be Weird- Mail Tribune 11/13/13

In preparation for my Bloomsbury Books reading I contacted the local newspaper, the Medford Mail Tribune. I was hoping they would run and ad at the least about the reading and maybe do a small story since local author/local teacher seems like a pretty good human interest topic.
Well, last Friday was a Teacher Work Day at school, and I was working away on report cards in a t-shirt and jeans when the phone rings. It's our secretary calling to let me know a reporter from the Tribune is on the line wanting to talk to me. Good thing there are no kids. She gets transfered over and we have a nice 20 talk. By, "nice 20 minute talk"  I mean she asked one question, "Tell me a little about the book and what weird things you do," and I talked for fifteen minutes. When I stopped to ask if she had other questions she said no, if she had anything else she would have stopped me and I was doing fine. Oh no, I thought. I'm not sure exactly what I said though.
She wanted to come take pictures and I said that's fine today because there are no kids. She replied that kids make the pictures more interesting. "I've never worked at a school that was ok with the news taking photos or video of students," I told her. "I'll call the superintendent and see what I can do," she replied.
Of course. Call Cynda, the superintendent, to talk about the story you're doing on the teacher she hired three months ago. I am Low Profile Man.
It turns out Cynda was very excited by the idea of the story and photos, gave the ok for the paper to come to school Tuesday, the next day we had students. Schools have been getting a lot fo negative press recently and Cynda figured any positive press was a good thing.
So Tuesday during language arts the reporter and a photographer came in and did their thing. I warned my kids ahead of time and they were as no distracted as a group of students could be by the giant camera and guy walking around taking pictures.
The story ran the next day, too late to help bring people to the reading, but hopefully will still lead to book sales. My only complaint about the article is that she doesn't mention where to find the book or the book very much at all. A few mentions would have been nicer. Oh well, can't really complain.
I've included the links below and the full text of the article as well. Many thanks to Sanne and the Mail Tribune for their support.

Links:
Article
Pictures
Video

Teacher is Proud to be Weird

By Sanne Specht

Mail Tribune

White City Elementary School's self-admitted "weird teacher" flourishes his short yellow wand, using the tip of its little, white-gloved hand to emphasize the syllables in the day's vocabulary lesson.

"Cau-tious-ly," Doug Robertson says, flailing his arms. "You don't just hold scissors and wave them around. You handle them cau-tious-ly."

Next word — Ap-pre-ci-ate.

"Use it in a sentence," Robertson challenges his charges, in a booming voice.

Robertson's theater arts minor stands him in good stead as he deftly trades his wand for a mustachioed yardstick and wanders between aisles in his third-grade class.

"I appreciate your smile," says 8-year-old Katheryne Galea.

Robertson cracks a faux scowl and immediately denies smiling. Ever.

"I never smile," he says, with a twinkle in his eye. "I don't know what you guys are talking about."

Indeed, several scowling images of Robertson are plastered high on the classroom walls, staring down on the 20 students.

"Children are ridiculous and fantastic," Robertson says. "I tell them I'm mean and that I never smile. And, of course, I do, so it cracks them up."

Robertson's teaching philosophy for keeping students engaged in a carefully controlled-yet-chaotic classroom is laid out in his self-published book, "He's the Weird Teacher ... and other things students whisper about me."

"You need to be kind of an actor. You need to make it better, make it interesting. Fractions are not necessarily fun," he says.

In his 259-page primer, Robertson, now in his eighth year in education, mixes schoolhouse stories, positive teaching methods, thoughts on handling parents and administrators, and taking responsibility for student learning.

"I feel I have something to say to the profession as a whole," Robertson says. "Children are in a classroom 180 days a year. That shouldn't suck. It should be fun and interesting. This book is an inside view of what my classroom is like from an inside perspective."

Robertson says it's a rare week that doesn't find him climbing up on a desk and waving his yardstick around.

I don't believe you should just 'park and bark,' " he says. "Everyone knows emotions are contagious. I want my kids to feel this is an exciting place to be."

He's also known to mix things up in the schoolyard in hopes of getting younger students intrigued with the goings-on in the "weird teacher's classroom," he says.

He randomly disrupts orderly lines of kindergartners by offering up high-fives.

"Everyone knows if you put your hand out, it shall be fived," Robertson says. "And the kindergarten teacher is too nice to yell at me. But I'm building that culture. 'He's the weird teacher.' Kids who are in kindergarten are excited to be in my class. When I finally get them, that (playground high-five) has already done part of my job for me."

Robertson says becoming a weird teacher was in the stars.

"I was the weird kid, too," Robertson says.

But it's not all "laughing and rainbows every day," he says.

"I need to be able to take them from silly to serious in two seconds," Robertson says. "The goal, after all, is education."

Standardized teaching is "where the pendulum of education is right now," he says. But that doesn't mean kids shouldn't learn how to be critical thinkers. Keeping students on their toes with seemingly silly nonsense is a good way to create "thinking, productive members of society," he says.

Robertson knows some of his high-energy teaching methods are not for every teacher — and perhaps not for every student. Empathy is important, too, he says.

"Empathy is one of the themes that runs through the book that I hope people take away from it," Robertson says. "A lot of these kids have things going on in their homes I don't want to think about."

Lowering his energy, Robertson slips onto a tall stool in the front of the class. The students snack quietly on grapefruit slices as Robertson cracks open a well-worn copy of "Charlotte's Web" and reads to them the last word the wise spider will spin above Wilber's pen at the fair.

"The word 'humble' was neatly woven in the center ..."

Reach reporter Sanne Specht at 541-776-4497 or sspecht@mailtribune.com.

This is my favorite picture from the online gallery:

Bloomsbury Books Reading

My first reading! So exciting.
I did as much promotion as I could leading up to the event. I contacted the local paper, which didn't pay off for the reading but might pay off in the long run (see upcoming post). I tweeted and Facebooked. I mass emailed everyone in my school district.
And in the end eight people came. A few got the flyer Bloomsbury sent out. A few saw the flyer in the window. One saw it advertised in the paper. And one awesome person from my school came out to support. Needless to say, the turn out was not as massive as I hoped. But, considering my secret fear was a room empty save for the wife and boy, eight isn't bad.
And they were a great audience. They participated and laughed in all the right places and a few bought books.

My view

 I've never been to a book reading. I've watched a few online, Chuck Klosterman and Sarah Vowell, but those were at universities. Big crowds of people familiar with the writer. I knew I would have few-to-no one who knew who I was. Some people would probably be nervous about that. My ego is such that I'm not. Public speaking, while a fear for many, is not a fear for me. I had the text and my personality, so I was confident.
I decided the format for the reading would be an introduction, followed by a funny chapter, a question/conversation stemming from that, a more serious chapter, and another question/conversation. I wasn't really sure how well the questions would go so I planned a third chapter just in case.
Turns out I needed all three, but I did get some good questions in between.
The reading took place on the second floor of the store. There was a lectern, a mic, a table, and rows of folding chairs. I set up some books on the table, stood at the lectern, and turned off the mic. The crowd was small and close and I've got the teacher voice. I don't need no stinking microphone. Some readers probably do, but not I. Down below the store was pretty dead, with one very friendly, helpful guy working the register.

 I introduced myself and let everyone know the plan for the hour, then read the first of my three selections- Peanut Butter and Jelly. I'd never thought about reading that chapter until I asked Facebook and many suggested it, calling it one of the funnier chapters. I knew it was funny, but I had never really thought about it. Turns out the masses were right. PB&J went over like gangbusters. It's a nice chapter for reading, dramatic and funny, with lots of chances for expression and voices and pausing for laughs. And laughs there were. The guy working the counter told me afterwards he'd never laughed that hard during a reading and he bought a copy of the book because of it. So good call, Facebook. Thanks!
We chatted after and I found out a couple of the people in the audience were educators, former educators, or people who worked with children in some way. Then I went on to the one I thought would kill, Bodily Functions. I maintain that's one of the funniest things I've ever written. It cracks me up. And it went well, but not as well and the first. I think maybe it's too gross to be read aloud unless the audience is very specific. Better to be in your head.

We chatted more then I went on to my last choice- Sympathy for the Weird Kid. I think this will be in any reading I get a chance to do. It contains one of the big themes of the book, empathy, it's personal, and most everyone can relate. It's one of the most about me chapters, but it can be about pretty much anyone attracted to what I have to say. It's a chapter that gets silent nodding and soft noises from a good audience, which I had.
The hour struck as I was finishing the final chapter, but no one left so we hung out for another fifteen minutes, talking and sharing teaching stories. An 80 year old woman told a story about subbing in a music class that ended with, "Why don't you shove it in your ass?" Yeah, at my reading an 80 year old woman said, "shove it in your ass." That makes it a success right there, I think. One guy bought a book for his teacher son in inner-city Chicago. A kindly older couple bought one for themselves. And the guy who worked the counter. The 80 year old had published two of her own books, which she promised to (and did) send to me.

The tiny human had to get involved because he's adorable and loves to be the center of attention. Hmmm, wonder where that came from?

 I had a ton of fun. I love being in front of an audience, it feels natural and comfortable and if I could make a living giving speeches I'd probably do it. I guess I kind of do, though a good teacher doesn't talk as much as he listens. I'm hustling hard to find more places to do readings and I hope more come through. I want to thank Bloomsbury for having me. They had only been taking one copy of the book at a time but both copies sold quickly so Monday they took two instead. Guess it's popular. I'm sure the fantastic cover helps.
Thanks for your support. Please, again, leave a review on amazon, Barnes and Noble, and goodreads if you've read and enjoyed He's the Weird Teacher. And tell your friends. And remember Christmas is coming and who doesn't love a book in their stocking?

Rock Star Principals' Podcast Ep. 13

My podcast is up!

Let me back up. A few weeks ago I encountered a fantastic twitter account called @RckStrPrincipal aka The Rock Star Principals. "Ah-ha!" I thought to myself. "Kindred spirits!" And so they are. After some tweeting back and forth we realized the mutual rockstar-ness we shared and knew there had to be a meeting of the minds. I sent them a promotional copy of the book, they read it and loved it (as we all did), and asked me to be on the show (read: I asked to be on the show and they said yes).

We talked for about 45 minutes and I expected that they would edit or cut the conversation into two episodes. Nope, the interview in its entirety is presented with only a commercial break in the middle. I realized I'm a huge narcissist, but I feel like the conversation came out great. I wish I had spent a little more time talking about the Weird Kid chapter and empathy, but overall I'm very pleased. The second-guessing I did right after the interview turned out to not be as bad as I worried.
I had a great time and I hope the Rock Star Principals Jon and Nick have me back again.

Here's the link to episode Lucky 13.

Bloomsbury Books Reading Flyer

My reading is all set up for Bloomsbury Books November 11th at 7pm. I'm really excited and have a box of books to prove it. I've started talking it up and have gotten permission from my school district to send a district-wide email informing everyone within shouting distance. Hopefully that will end up meaning I'll read to more than Wife and Child. If you're in the area please come. Special thanks to Rachel Ott for the help designing the flyer.

I've also given Tree House Books in Ashland five more copies, since they sold the one they had. That's pretty damn exciting. My book in a real store sold to some person who I couldn't possibly know. Woo!

The latest sales report came in last night and we are doing well. I'm not swimming in it like Scrooge McDuck, but I've made my investment back and people are buying. I expect sales to slow some now that the initial bump of friends and family is over. But maybe not. Maybe the word is spreading. I built a Facebook page for He's the Weird Teacher which you can find here. Same information as the blog, but also with pictures and Facebookiness. If you're on Facebook please give it a Like. Likes spread as your friends see what you like.

Thank you again to everyone buying, reading, sharing, tweeting, reviewing and talking about the book. It means a lot and please don't stop. Don't forget it needs reviews on GoodReads and Nook too. Thanks again!

Reading Scheduled- Bloomsbury Books

I have scheduled my first reading of He's the Weird Teacher!!!
I am very excited!!!
I will now show this by abusing the exclamation point key!!!...!!

 Bloomsbury Books in Ashland, OR is one of the two bookstores currently holding a copy of He's the Weird Teacher on consignment. One benefit of that is they are willing to let me have a talk/reading in their store. They will be advertising it on their website and in their newsletter, as well as putting a sign up in the store window, which I think I'm going to create (All information is based on the five minute conversation I had with their planner today. Emails will be exchanged, details will emerge).

Obviously, if you are in the area I would love for you to come. There will be many pictures and possibly some video of the event. I'll be ordering a ton of copies of the book to take with me. And I will quietly fret that it will be me, my wife, and the tiny human there, and at least one of those people will either sleep or cry through the whole thing.

More information and reminders as they come.

Thanks!

Now In Stores!!!

He's the Weird Teacher has arrived in bookstores across one small town in Southern Oregon!
Both Tree House Children's Books and Bloomsbury Books in Ashland, OR have agreed to take a few copies of the book on consignment since I'm a local author.
We were walking through Ashland, a nice little town, passing the shops and I couldn't help myself from asking if they would take the book. Both said yes, with different caveats and benefits.
 

Bloomsbury, which is a big fancy independent bookstore, has said they would only take one copy right now, which is up on a shelf somewhere, we let before I saw her put it out. But I'm to call tomorrow, Thursday, and speak to one of the owners about setting up a reading and promotional night, during which I can bring in more to sell. And if the one sells, they'll tell me and I'll bring in more for the store. My split there is 60/40. So the store keeps 40% of what the price of the book is.

Tree House is a children's book store, and a really cute fun one at that. The shop is mostly filled with children's book, picture books and the like, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. The owner was very nice and excited to have a local author's book up in her store. She immediately picked a place out on the shelf (I brought in one copy to show her) and put it up, front-facing. When she asked how many I could bring in I replied, how many do you want? This was after Bloomsbury, so I was expecting something along the lines of, "Well, let's see how the one sells." Nope! "We can have six, that way I can put up five spine out and one front-facing so it's easy to see. Plus, if you make a little author blurb I'll stick it to the shelf under the book. Lots of teachers shop here, so that will probably help." I'm already on createspace ordering the next five to bring in. But wait, there's more. "If you make bookmarks and bring them in I'll put them on the counter for people to take. Any way to get the name out." Needless to say I'm working on bookmarks with Dorothy of the awesome cover. The owner also said she'd be happy to talk about a promotional thing, but after the new year because they are all filled up until December. The split there is 75/25, which is better than I'd get from any publisher on the planet.
This is quite exciting for me. My book exists as a real live book in two real live bookstores. I'm also working on helping the bookstore at the University of the Pacific and at the University of Hawaii ordering a few, plus one or two other promotional things.
Thanks again to everyone reading the book and saying nice things. The reviews on amazon are great, and if you read it on your Nook it needs reviews in the B&N store too.
If you're in Ashland pop in to Tree House or Bloomsbury. If you're in Barnes and Noble bother the worker drones into looking it up on their system and make them tell you it's not carried in store.
Thanks for reading!

Live in the B&N Store

He's the Weird Teacher is now live in the Barnes and Noble Nook Store! So if you have a Nook and Smashwords was being a pain, now you've got an even easier option.
Just like on Amazon, the Nook Store uses reviews to recommend books to browsers. So if you've bought from one of those two places please please please go and leave a review. I'm not talking about a giant book report, just a sentence or two telling strangers they should spend a couple bucks because it's funny, interesting, whatever you think. I'm not asking for a bunch of five stars, leave what you think it deserves. It won't hurt my feelings. But reviews move stuff around in the computer.
Also, lots of you have been sharing and tweeting and whatnot, which is great. Please keep it up. Chuck Klosterman once said that commercials and ads and advertising don't sell books. The only thing that sells books is a person you trust saying, "Hey, you should buy this book." So please, tell people you think would like it that they will like it.
Thanks!

Autographed Copies of He's the Weird Teacher

Full Disclosure: This is a strange post to be writing.

I have been getting messages asking about getting autographed copies of He's the Weird Teacher. First off, wow that's really cool. Second, make sure you keep the book in mint condition afterwards because someday you'll be able to sell it on ebay for tens, possibly dozens, of dollars.

I do want to help people out who want autographed copies of the book, so I've been trying to figure out the best way to make it possible without being difficult. I've come up with a few choices-

1) Go to your perfered online bookseller (amazon and createspace have paperbacks) and order the book, but have it sent to my home instead of yours. It comes to me, I sign it, then I send it on to you. Through paypal you pay me to ship it to you. Obviously, to do this you need to get in touch with me on the tweets  so you know where to send it. This is kinda creepy though, so you might like option two better.

3) I have copies in my home. DM me on the tweets or email me (the weirdteacher@gmail.com) and let me know you want one and we'll work it out that way. Total book costs for in country shipping is $14 media mail and $17 priority. That is the book plus shipping and that's all. What kind of a jerk charges for his signature?

3) In the non-creepiest and/or funniest way possible, find me in person and ask me to sign it. Hell, I'll sign your e-reader cover that way too. I'll even take a picture with you and the book*.

Unfortunately, I don't have the money to pay to ship the signed copy to you, so I've added a link over on the sidebar which will connect to my paypal account. I'll tell you how much shipping will be, you put that into the paypal account, then I'll send your signed copy out.

So yes, getting a signed copy will be a little more expensive because you'll be paying for shipping, but imagine the look on the faces of all your coworkers and friends and family members when they unwrap that present at Christmas and see, "Dear Your Name Here, You're an awesome human person. Read carefully. There will be a test. -Doug Robertson". You can't buy joy like that.

Happy reading, and don't forget to leave those reviews on Amazon! Thanks!

*picture cost $56 per person per picture**

**unless you can quote Holy Grail, Spinal Tap, Jaws, or Legally Blonde to me. Then the fee is waived.

Amazon Update

He's the Weird Teacher is almost completely on sale everywhere. I think it should still show up on the Barnes and Noble page at some point. But amazon has linked the paperback and Kindle pages together now.
Find that HERE.
Remember, you can also go to Smashwords and Createspace.
Please continue to spread the word and leave reviews!
Thank you.

E-Book Announcement- He's the Weird Teacher

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages!
The Kindle and Smashwords editions of He's the Weird Teacher are live and ready for purchase.
Follow this links to the page to get yourself the newest, hottest, most exciting, most hyperbolic book about teaching I've ever written.

• Amazon.com (Kindle)
• Smashwords (Nook and other e-readers)

 The paperback is not up yet so if you want an actual hardcopy to hold in your hands and smell the pages then you're going to have to wait a few more days. But if you're a digital person then He's the Weird Teacher is ready to be bought.
The price for both amazon and smashwords is $4.99.
If you buy on amazon, and I'm going to be saying this over and over, please please please go back and leave a review after you read it. Reviews are how books move up and down the suggestion fields and the more positive reviews the book gets the higher it should move and, theoretically, the more people will see it.
Like I said, the paperback is not up yet. It will be soon though.
It would mean a lot to me if you would help spread the word by tweeting, Facebooking, Google+-ing, and word-of-mouthing He's the Weird Teacher to everyone you know. I'm warning you, I'm going to be kind of a pain about this over the next few weeks, but it's only because I'm crazy excited and proud of the product.
Thank you for reading, sharing, and being a part of this.

In the Mail!

It's in the mail.
There is a paperback copy of He's the Weird Teacher being printed, cover and all, as we speak. Soon it will be in the mail. Approximately ten days after that it will be in my mailbox.
This paperback copy is my final approval draft. It isn't so much for edits, as that is done and anything wrong is wrong in this edition (I'm sure there are spelling and punctuation things that slipped through, but they should be few and far between), as it is for making sure the layout, cover, and all that good stuff is like I want.
The website, createspace, is waiting for my approval. I'm pretty sure the amazon page is on deck, and the smashwords page too. When it is ready ready I'll post links to amazon, smashwords, and createspace, because it'll be order-able from all three. I've also set it up so that libraries and book stores can order copies themselves. This will come in handy since the bookstore at my almamater, the University of the Pacific, has told me they would like to carry a few copies. It also means independent bookstores and the University of Hawaii (who makes an appearance kind of) are going to be getting nagging phone calls and emails from me in the next couple of days that will sound something like this:



I appreciate everyone reading this and I'll be calling on you to help spread the word once the book is ready to rock. Big things will be social media sharing and giving it reviews on amazon. Reviews are how things move up the suggestion lists, putting it in front of eyes I'll never be able to reach otherwise.
Thank you for your support. I'll post pictures of the proof once it gets here.
Squee.

Thesis Statement

Saw this on Facebook today and it rang true. This quote, though this is the first time I'd seen it, is pretty much the thesis statement for at least two chapters of the book and I hope is a theme that gets taken away by the reader at the end.

Corrections Submitted

Earlier this week Ray at y42k publishing sent me the penultimate draft of the book to look over. There is always one final pass of correcting before you send the book off to print. Stuff slips through. There was a list. Wanna see it? Wanna see a list of corrections that are basically meaningless out of context? Ok.

[ ] Pg 14. Capital T in The Simpsons. And no apostrophe
[ ] Pg. 16 period after first before "
[ ] Pg. 21 next to THE Demarcus...
[ ] Pg. 21 "what a teacher could BE" not do
[ ] Pg. 25 This is one of those stories, then paragraph break.
[ ] Pg. 42 capital And in And Not Freaking Out
[ ] Pg. 48 obviously then comma. Last paragraph
[ ] Pg. 50 "it's logical end" should be its
[ ] Pg. 51 after the list "teachers'" apostrophe placement
[ ] Pg 56 "impressed my principal so MUCH that..."
[ ] Pg. 64 "If need to..." Should be "If I need to..." Last full paragraph
[ ] Pg. 64 end of same sentence, "heart to heart with the child ask..." There should be AND between child and ask
[ ] Pg 76 2nd paragraph "they get to argue with me ABOUT how..."
[ ] Pg. 86 last full paragraph delete MYSELF "...a section I think of at the end of every quarter."
[ ] Pg. 146 comma after "In fact", first full paragraph
[ ] Pg 146 italics I, Robot, second full paragraph
[ ] Pg. 159 second to last word should be KINDS not kind
[ ] Pg. 178 first full paragraph "opportunities" instead of opportunity
[ ] Pg. 183 I'd like there to be a page break between "Thus endeth the chapter" and the next line. Possible?
[ ] Pg 191 middle paragraph second to last sentence. "parent's" should be "parents'"
[ ] Pg. 235 end of middle paragraph. "You just stand THERE" not then
[ ] Pg. 254 top paragraph, right after the strikethrough, delete "a"
[ ] Pg. 263 second to last paragraph first sentence, delete "that I"
[ ] Pg. 265 "For fun he...rides HIS motorcycle..."

There. Happy? So those things slipped though and I managed to finish the list in a few days. I just sent it to Ray so now I wait again. I wait as he goes through and makes those final changes. Then he'll let me know what I need to do with the cover, because the size we made it probably isn't totally correct. Luckily, that's easy fix for Dorothy.
All this means we creep closer and closer to an actual release. Very exciting, ladies and gentlemen.

Out Of My Hands (for now)

There isn't too much to say in this post. But it is exciting to be about to say.
I've turned in the book to Y42K publishing. He has his fee and all the text and information he required to start his end of the process. So now I wait. Should be a week or two, and then he comes back to me with more questions and a dummy copy that I can check over for mistakes. Dorothy and I will probably have to fiddle with the cover size a little once we know for such what the page count in the paperback will be (no Word doc page count does not equal actual page count). I approve the dummy copy, we finish setting up the Smashwords and amazon pages, then away it goes and I make millions of dollars becoming a world wide sensation ending up on The Daily Show while Jon Stewart laughs at my stories. Or I sell enough to break even. Or only my friends buy it. But even if that happens, at least I wrote a book I'm proud of and got it out into the world.
Ok, more as it develops! Thanks for reading.
Doug

We Have a Cover

I kind of was going to tease this out, maybe release a little bit at a time or something, but I can't. I way way waaaay too excited about the whole thing to do that.
My friend Dorothy came over to the house today to shoot the picture for me to use for the cover of the book. That's all I had planned. Take some pictures, then hang out. Instead, she came over with all her gear and her computer,  we hashed out the basic idea for the cover, shot for fifteen minutes or so, and then got to editing and she, using the templates provided to me by y42k.com (by the way, go check out their book on the Boston Marathon called The 27th Mile) totally built the whole cover with me in Photoshop. It was very cool and I can't thank her enough and I'm totally thrilled with what we ended up with. It took some fiddling, but my initial idea was pretty strong and she has an eye for graphic design, so it came out great. I think it'll be eye-catching on shelves and in the amazon shop and hopefully it's going to make people click on it/pick it up.
The below image is the front cover. We actually built the entire cover and there's a back to it too with a blurb about the book that I'll probably use in most of the promotional material, but I'm not putting that up.
And with all that said...
Drum roll, please

I love it. I love it love it love it. I think it's great. I can't thank Dorothy enough. What I can do is send you all to her websites. If you have photography needs and are in the Tacoma area, hit her up.
Here is her website and here is her Facebook page. Please reach out. If you like the book design let her know that too; she should know how kick ass it is from people who aren't me. She shot Super Awesome Wife and my wedding too, so if you dig around on her site a little, or just wait on the main page, there's all kinds of pictures of us.
He's the Weird Teacher will soon be headed off to the publisher, and from there it should be a matter of short weeks before you all can hold it in your hands or download it to your reading devices. I hope you're half as excited about reading it as I am about releasing it into the wild.
Thanks.