Wednesday, September 19, 2018

WeirdEd But Like Pirates Would Do It by Sam Bates

Post by Sam Bates

Ahoy there, landlubbers! ‘Tis I, Salty Sam. When I discovered Dread Pirate Doug would be leaving #WeirdEd unattended for a month, I set my eyes upon borrowing it for yon evening.

But when I discovered the captain’s quarters would be empty on Ye Olde International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I knew I needed to be at the helm for one (more) night (if’n ye be confused, it’s because you haven’t gone back and read all of Doug’s blogs, in which case, ye should be ashamed of yourself. His blogs are a goldmine. Yar, I mean, full of booty.)

Pirates be amazing role models for teachers. If your familiarity with pirates comes from Disney, VeggieTales, Rogers and Hammerstein, a catchy jingle about rum, or professional athletics, ye be vastly uneducated about pirates, as were I up until about a fortnight ago.

Are ye familiar with the Pirate’s Code? T’was a contract, better’n what the actual navies of the day could provide. It spelled out precisely how loot were to be divided, the rules of the ship, conflict resolution, and a termination clause - and I don’t mean death. It be specifyin’ when a pirate’s contract were up.

Speakin’ of death, pirates weren’t the blood-thirsty ragamuffins ye may think. T’was better to have a reputation of mercy, for if a crew knew for certain they were takin’ their last breaths, they fought harder. Nah, when overtaking an enemy, best to give them some options. Some pirate ships gained crewmembers this way; today corporations call this “onboarding.”

Today we celebrate these businessmen of yesteryear by adopting their slang and a highly butchered version of some European accent. Yar!

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