For [winter celebration of my choosing] this year I have a long list of requests. I've been bad a lot, but I've been very good at it. I should still get what I'm asking for. Tonight's chat will be a list of educational and personal wishes. But my first wish is that everyone takes a chat about wishes as seriously as a chat about wishes should be taken. Wish for the sun and the moon and the stars and a reindeer with a schnoz that glows and a magic hat and maybe the new album by your favorite band and a copy of He's the Weird Teacher or THE Teaching Text (You're Welcome).
And then maybe later in the chat we can play Santa. You know, a little role playing to spice things up. We will grant wishes to other people. I have to assume that you don't get letters from everyone which means sometimes you must have to guess. We'll guess what people want for [winter celebration of their choosing]. That would be fun and different, right?
Should we talk about who shouldn't get gifts? I dunno, that sounds a little negative for us, don't you think? Is there a way to spin that, somehow, Mr. Claus? I'll think on it and get back to you.
We'll leave the cookies and milk out for you. And some carrots for your reindeer and mud for your turtle.
ps I really am serious about getting people my book. You better have a bunch in your sack there.