Tuesday, December 13, 2016

#WeirdEd Week 131- Elf On The Shelf


Dark forces live in our classrooms. They steal books and misplace papers and break pencils. They loosen desk legs and water bottle lids. They hide food in cubbies, ID cards deep in backpacks, and journals who knows where. What are these dark forces, you ask.

Elves.

And I have it on good authority, they tend to dwell on the shelves.

I knew the custodian never cleans up there.

What are the mysteries of the classroom? The unexplained phenomena explainable only when you take into account the existence of these miniature, pointy-eared bringers of mischief. We all know mischief is a euphemism though, don't we? We know what they really are- evil doers*.

Tonight's chat will be all about the things that happen in our classrooms that seem to be out of our control. Out of anyone's control. Things that seem to happen and the only possible explanation is, "Because magic?" Naturally, since this is the chat before most of us get off for holiday break, I'll spin things in a yuletide way. How could I not? We may stray from the chosen path of elf hunting once or twice to discuss how a candy cane is most like a teaching tool, or how the War On Christmas is a made up persecution fantasy perpetrated by insecure, frightened children. Ok, maybe not the second one. To those people we at #WeirdEd HQ (meaning me) say, "Happy holidays."

This is a Christmas-but-actually-holiday chat. Sure, I'm using Elf on a Shelf as a jumping off point, but who wants to just talk about Christmas?

Strap on your jiggle bells, practice your caroling, deck your halls, prepare the yule log, close down the circus, evacuate the zoo, spin your dreidel, and let's party.

*side note- remember when a politician calling baddies "evil doers" was the dumbest thing you could think of? Good times.

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